Response to TV Show Viewers: Post 1 - January 23, 2026
Response to TV Show Viewers: Post 42 - April 29, 2026
Getting to
that point of being in the spotlight as I was, felt like its own special accomplishment.
I wasn’t exactly sure what it meant big picture or long term, but it seemed
noteworthy after almost fizzling multiple times during the long stretch of
waiting.
However, I
was not great, at all. I thought I’d be better but wasn’t confident when
speaking and my enthusiasm was inauthentic. My energy level was more from caffeine
than organic excitement over what we were doing. I was sincerely disappointed,
more in the talent than anyone else. I talked over people, tripped on my
words, and often used the same description too many times. I had not shined as
hoped. I’d let myself down and understood that the producers felt the same. I
saw them wince, picked up on their hard-to-hide indifference. They were steadfastly
professional, but these were not actors. They couldn’t pretend that I was
brilliant when I muddled day-to-day in full view.
Although
getting the initial green light had happened quickly, and may have seemed easy
to others looking in, perhaps even as I’ve written about it here in this Response
series, it had been rough and bumpy and taken a long time, with the last leg,
December through March, being supremely dicey. But I’d come through without
losing my mind off camera and without melting down, venting frustrations while
being filmed with every word recorded. It hadn’t been an Ironman triathlon or completion
of a marathon, yet at the end, I was drained. I’d endured and it was a milestone
to get to that point and then through this experience working with the producers
on site and remotely throughout the country.
As I’ve said
before, they treated me nicely. But I could tell I wasn’t saying what they
wanted me to say, how they wanted it said, even after they tried to tell me. They
were positive when they could be, like letting me know I had a knack for
knowing where the camera was, opening up and adjusting as needed. And they
seemed to appreciate my personality and sense of humor.
However,
there were producers who seemed super-duper pleased, very impressed, making me
feel genuinely optimistic of chances at being picked up for the series. The high
point of this enthusiasm was when a producer pulled me aside and said, “You’re
doing great! We have enough for the first segment. We’re gonna fast track it,
get approval for the pick-up, and then we’ll be right back.” That was news that
had me standing a little straighter. And he added, “It won't be April.
But what we have is looking really good and we’ll be back by May for sure.”
Of course, they didn't want me to work on the house until they returned, and I had some privately held mixed feelings about this. But if they were coming back, I could find ways to be productive for four or five weeks that would surely buzz by quickly.
Response to TV Show Viewers: Post 44 - Coming Soon
